Any advice on how to cope with a husband who is dealing with depression?

My husband has been dealing with depression off and on for years. I feel this has taken a toll on our marriage. Things have been strained between us for quite some time, so he recently went to the dr's and they put him on medication to help him deal with his depression. This is quite the emotional rollercoaster for the both of us...one I'm not sure I have the energy for. There are times where I think the medication is helping and things seems to be getting better, but then something will happen and we'll get in an arguement and it's like nothing is ever going to change. It's like two steps forward, three steps back. How do I deal with this?Any advice on how to cope with a husband who is dealing with depression?
He should make follow up visits to his doctor every few weeks until he gets to a dosage that is actually helping. Sounds to me like it might still be too low. The other thing I recommend is counseling. Last I heard, the majority of studies concluded that the best treatment for depression is a combination of medication and therapy.Any advice on how to cope with a husband who is dealing with depression?
This is going to be hard. My husband and I met during training to go on tour over in Iraq. He was my best friend over there, the only one I could completely tell anything to, even my friends back home couldn't understand. Well he stayed on the base, and I was convoy security, and I think that's what messed him up the most was the constant worry about me. I came back fine, a couple bumps and scars from mishaps on the road, but he was a nervous wreck, and still is. He is always grumpy and depressed, never touches me intimately, blah blah blah. It sucks, I know, but you have to wait thru the digestion period of the meds. There will come a time when he will be back on that even keel, when he will once again become the man that you fell so madly in love with. The roller coaster is long and strenuous, but you know who he was before, and that's who he will be again, maybe even a new improved version. Just think, after a tour in Iraq, that's bad news, I truly feel for you in your situation, but, be there for him, you married him for all the good reasons, stand by his side, and don't be afraid to yell back once in a while. :)
The way that I deal with my husband's depression is to accept that this is the way he is, and I am going to show him love, patience, gentleness, humor, and respect .. . . no matter what.





We made a commitment: ';through sickness %26amp; health, til death do us part.'; That pretty much sums it up. We aren't going anywhere. Just imagine how your frustration with your husband worsens his depression. Be his best friend. . .. . there for him, sticking by his side, holding his hand NO MATTER WHAT. How's that sound for a start?





It wouldn't hurt for you to get counseling to help you to learn how to deal with an imperfect life.
I usually don't recommend books because I hate it when people recommend them to me, but I honestly wish I could buy ';Love %26amp; Respect'; for every married (and engaged) person I know. So try and hear me out...





It states that a woman's driving need is to feel loved and when she feels loved she feels happy. A man's driving need is to feel respect and when he feels respected he is happy. When a woman feels unloved she acts out disrespectfully to her husband, and when a man feels disrespected he acts out unloving towards his wife and the crazy cycle begins.





If this is setting off any light bulbs for you read on...





';I wrote this book out of desperation that was turned into inspiration. As a pastor, I counseled married couples and could not solve their problems. The major problem I heard from wives was, ';He doesn't love me.'; Wives are made to love, want to love, and expect love. Many husbands fail to deliver. But as I kept studying Scripture and counseling couples, I finally saw the other half of the equation. Husbands weren't saying it much, but they were thinking, ';She doesn't respect me.'; Husbands are made to be respected, want respect, and expect respect. Many wives fail to deliver. The result is that five out of ten marriages land in divorce court (and that includes evangelical Christians).





As I wrestled with the problem, I finally saw a connection: without love from him, she reacts without respect; without respect from her, he reacts without love. Around and around it goes. I call it the Crazy Cycle - marital craziness that has thousands of couples in its grip.';





I am not even half-ways through the book and workbook, and while my husband is not studying the material with me it has already worked miracles in my no-longer-failing marriage.





If you do believe in God I highly recommend this biblically based book. It's not a ';religious freak'; book or anything but it's nice to know that it is based on things in the bible and not just some theory or pop psychology book, and it's been a #1 seller for over 2 years now... it's working for thousands of couples!
Medication can be a major help, and it's wonderful that your husband took the step to try it, but don't expect it to work miracles overnight. It takes several weeks for the prescriptions to fully kick in, and even after that, he's going to have to do a lot of self-monitoring to determine whether the dosage is still effective, or he needs to try something else entirely. Also, if he's not doing talk therapy in combination with the prescription, he might want to go back to his doctor and get a referral: it'll probably help with conflict resolution.





I know it's very hard on you, but remember that it's not fun for him, either, especially knowing that it's causing you pain. Stay strong and give him support, but don't let him use the depression as an excuse for outrageous behavior or taking you for granted, either. Hopefully, the rollercoaster will eventually level out. Good luck.
You just breath. Relax, and when he starts his crap....walk away. When he yells at you....smile. When nothing you do is right, sit down and pretend to read a book. Block him out. You must understand that there are days (in his mind) that you ARE the best thing in this world. The other days he would push off a cliff if he could. This is not your fault. Once the meds get in his system good it should help alot.